Endometriosis- My Struggle.

Had the most perfect day today. Having recovered from Covid19- just knowing that we are now in Boris Johnson’s ‘Herd Immunity’ group has been a relief to my family. The anxiety of not knowing when Covid would hit us, and also how we would cope with it, is no longer an issue. We have overcome it.

And the new incentive ‘Eat out to Help Out’- where we get 50% off our meals (*subject to terms and conditions*) means that Monday -Wednesdays are the new weekends for us. (Thanks Boris) And so I spent the day doing nothing and enjoyed the evening eating out with the family……

…..and then it hit me, a walloping pain in my stomach, my back seized up and my internal organs felt tight, my face flushed up and i had a sickly feeling of wanting to throw up…… all at the time of starting our family movie for the evening…… This people is my world of Endometriosis.

The hubby gets it, he has seen me suffer for the past 10 years, explaining to my boys is a lot more harder (is that a cultural thing?) or is that because generally not many people want to understand what Endometriosis is, and would rather call it a ‘Heavy period?’…… so I put my hand to my head, (why do we do that? ) and say i’m really tired I need to sleep early and head off upstairs. …….Family time gone for this week…..

Although there are 176 million women who suffer from Endometriosis throughout the world, the illness is still so uncommon, and keep in mind that these 176 million women are diagnosed, and it takes 7-10 years on average to diagnose Endometriosis so the figures are not even reliable. They are far higher……. yet if you were to speak to a neighbour or a friend 9 times out of 10 they would not have a clue or put it down to ‘Heavy period’ and ‘Low pain threshold’

What makes thing worse is in our community, any illness to do with the reproductive organs are seen in a negative light and considered a *taboo*

The Endometriosis Society of India estimates that 25 million Indian women suffer from this condition. And yet, it is rarely spoken about and seldom understood, possibly because of taboos around menstruation.

Right So………What is Endometriosis?

Endometriosis is a long-term condition where tissues similar to the lining of the womb grows in other/wrong places, like in the ovaries, vagina, buttocks, Fallopian tubes- basically around the reproductive area of a women’s body. This ends up causing a lot of discomfort every month when its time for the dreaded monthly’s, because the blood flow now doesn’t follow the route it is sopposed to, therefore causing inflammation and discomfort aswell as scarring and damaging more tissues inside the body. This then ends up as severe stomach cramps, menorrhagia, severe back pain, feeling nausea’s and sick, either a case of diarrhoea or constipation, and severe pain during intercourse.

It is not known what causes this, but different doctors have suggested different things, i.e genetics, low immune system, and some have found common cases after a C-section. However none of these are solid findings.

In terms of treatment, their are only 2 options: Pain killers or Surgery. Two types of surgery can be offered depending on how severe the case is and the context of the surgery. For the ones who are trying for a child and the milder yet uncomfortable pain- Laparoscopic surgery is offered which involves the removal of endometrial tissues. However this is not a permanent solution and usually within 5 years the fibres tend to come back. For the more severe cases (where Laporoscopy has not worked) a ‘Hysterectomy’ can be approved.

Endometriosis can have a huge impact on some women and can lead to feelings of depression and loneliness because of the changes in hormones. I have managed with the pain for up to 10 years and have avoided surgery. I was suggested a ‘hysterectomy’ by my doctor, but I was only in my late 20’s and had no real idea if I wanted more children or not at that time, and also dealing with the side effects at such a young age…. it took me a while but I decided against it. Instead I went for the alternative solutions to medical care. I go for cupping, homeopathy, and acupuncture and it actually works well for me.

Its only now that I have realised that I am not the only one. Endometriosis is more common than I actually thought, and also its a hidden illness. Women generally don’t go to doctors for issues in the private areas because of the uncomfortable nature. It took me a while to be fully comfortable with stating exactly what I was going through, and that also because it was affecting my relationship with my partner, and I just needed to know what was wrong with me.

I have struggled with Endometriosis since after the birth of my second child. ( I have had 2 emergency C-sections) I was lucky that I have 2 boys, but their is a stigma associated with Endometriosis and I need to clear up- 70% of women who have Endometriosis do go on to have children, “Endometriosis does not mean you are infertile! It just means that some women have a harder time becoming pregnant.

Endometriosis can lead to other medical issues too. I suffer for menorrhagia, and it can be bad, really bad……. I have had days where I have leaked to a point it looks like a murder scene, I sometimes even wake up to a fully bloodied bed……and I have no control over this. I was off from work for half of the year in 2 consecutive years because of the menorrhagia. It was so difficult to explain to male managers what I was going through, to be honest the females were not much better. Honestly sometimes I believe we women are our own worst enemy. We don’t make it easy for each other. With the help of the Doctors notes, and the Trade Union my job was kept secure.

As well as the Menorrhagia, I also had periods where I have suffered from Vaginismus. (Something else that cannot be easily discussed in the community and has negative associations. Talk about luck!). Both these had a real impact on my relationship as can be appreciated. I was very young and naive at the time, so instead of actually finding out more, and talking to people I went into a sort of unconsciousness. I stopped socialising, I stopped talking to friends and family, I was in my own bubble pushing people away. I was embarrassed. I felt ashamed. This was a hard time as I probably have never felt so alone, and talking about the menorrhagia and vaginimus was hard as people generally in the community consider it to be a ‘taboo’ subject, or said that “its normal to have period pain” . And the ones that tried to empathise just ‘didn’t get it’…. How could they? It takes the doctors 8 years to diagnose us, they dismiss it as ‘Period pain’ most of the time…….I had to rely on good old google to find my own understanding of what my body was going through. (I do need to advise that Google is not the best of places, but on this occasion it helped me to understand myself and my body a lot more.)

We really need to make more of an effort to break down these boundaries, to break down the walls. And although I said that this is something we suffer from because of the narrow-mindedness of the Indian community, it is far more wider than that. Recently in the Guardian i saw this article:

Link to article is here

It made me realise the problem is far bigger, how a person can do a study “Rating how attractive women with Endometriosis are” really left me speechless. This is not a narrow-minded Indian problem, this is a overall, all round problem, that we are still facing in 2020. How does this study help me? How does it help my endometriosis? All resources, money, time spent on this study could have been put to better use.

Its just so frustrating that we have to go through the trauma of this, and then people are out there to ridicule us at the same time.

I’ve managed to accept that I have this condition, I have found my own ways of living with it, and treating it, all of which are the alternatives to medicine because I am not a fan of pumping my body with drugs, or even cutting it open, and dealing with the side-effects. And I must say that the awareness of Endometriosis is improving, yet there is a huge hurdle still in front of us. I think I can speak for all the ladies who suffer from Endometriosis when I say “We are strong, We are resilient, We are not asking for a miracle. All we ask for is a bit of compassion and emphathy. Thats all.

Do you suffer from Endometriosis? How are you coping and helping yourself? Have you been for surgery? Has that helped? I would love to know your thoughts and discuss further.

Love and Regards

M11bna

Don’t forget a quick ‘Like’, ‘Share’ and ‘Follow’ and pop your email address into the ‘subscribe’ button to always be up to date with ‘A Cup Of Me’

Take Some Time out Before you go Crazy

I knew I was loosing it, I just knew it. You know that feeling when someone breathes out loud and something inside you flips…. That feeling when someone Evan coughs and something switches on inside you- like a very ‘scratchy chalk on a black board’ and you are ready to throw anything that comes in your way, for no reason what so ever…… Or when a knife grazes on a ceramic plate……..and it feels like a pin pricked inside your brain….Yup that feeling! You know it right? Or when someone walks into the room and leaves the door open! You know exactly what I am talking about! Right? Thats when you know…… ‘I need time out’ .Especially in these turbulent times…. Taking time out is so damn important.

But it’s not just any sort of ‘Time out’….. Evan the word ‘Time Out’ has changed. It’s no longer waiting for the men in the house to leave so that you can jump into the tub, or watch the movie you have been wanting to watch after ages. In these uncertain time – you have to tell everyone you need Time out! You have to make this clear…… , your ‘Time out’ will involve people around you, and to make sure they don’t disturb you, you have to make it clear …..and my conversation; it went a little like this:

“I’m going in the bath, I don’t want anyone to come knocking on the door, I don’t care what you do, what you eat, what you watch…..! ..”

“Mum”

“What!! ” I snapped

“We don’t want anything, you go” … Now is that a way to make someone feel guilty or what?! I am Even more annoyed now. Oh Boris- how much more longer?…. How did we even get here!

The bath was taking ages to fill, my bath bomb wasn’t working out as I wanted it too, The water was too hot, and then it was too cold. I was getting all flustered…. And I’m nowhere near my period date! This was serious peeps! Dead serious!

I took a book in with me, but I don’t know how you all do it? I really struggle… Like do you have to keep your hands up all the time? How do you not get book wet? Head rest? I shuffle around an all…. It’s hard work guys. Is there a skill or technique I’m missing out on? Because I don’t get it….. I really failed at this, im stuck with a wet book now…. so I put the book aside and just….. Did nothing…. Nothing…

…I sank in, and then that’s it. Everything disappeared, the mess, the immense amount of cooking, the shouting, the noise, the chaos, the voices in my head…. I was alone. Finally….

No noise, no sound, no voices, just me myself and I….. and Boy did I need it

….This blog is about taking that time out because WE all need it! (I am sure im not the only one whos going crazy? right?)

1. Breathe

With all this crazy madness around us, I have turned into a ‘Stepford wife’ and I don’t Evan like that Sheesh (Kebab- because I won’t swear). I mean Evan the Stepford wives doesnt like being a ‘Stepford Wife’ – so why would I?

So when you are feeling a little overwhelmed, take a break, switch off. Go into a room alone. Go for a drive. Go for a walk. Breathe in the fresh air. Just try and get away from home. The brain gets fogged with too much or too little going on, and that time out will really help clear up the mind.

2. Create your own Ambience

The amount that soak helped me was unbelievable. Yes I came out all wrinkly, probably aged another 30 years, but the wrinkles in my mind were now ironed out. Im usually at home alone, I like my space, I like to call my house ‘mine’ but with this lockdown it has become ‘Our house’, I have to share this space with 3 other beings…. and I learnt something about myself Ive never known before- ‘I dont like sharing!’

I’ve had to get on with it, mardy face and all, (that hurts) but also I’ve learnt that their are certain places/rooms which are private to me, that give me solitude. That keep me sane. I use these spaces when I need that 5 minute to myself. I have my favourite things in those spots, I light the candle, I dim the light and I read my favourite book. Create your ambience in your home, make it yours (dont share!)

3. Comedy

We are going through quite a tough time at the moment, dont make it worse by watching the wrong things. Programmes/movies have a influence on your mood. If you are already having a bad day, dont watch a serious movie, watch something a little more light-hearted. My go-to has to be Friends- no matter how much times I watch it, nobody in the world can make me smile more than Chandler and Phoebe (and a little bit of Joey)

4. Social Media

Just three words for you all here:

SWITCH IT OFF

5. Find Your Niche

my Niche was travelling, eating out, wining, dining, and Afternoon tea- and thats scrapped now. But staying at home has made me discover a lot of old ‘Niches’ that I forget I had. Like colouring…. yes I am a adult, but all I want to do is colour, and do you know how theraupeutic that is? get yourself an adult colouring book, get some pencil crayons and watch the colouring book come alive.

I know people who didnt know the difference between roti flour and self raising flour who have seriously upped their game and are baking things that I didnt even know existed (and I considered myself a baker). They found their niche for sure- im seriously ordering my Eid goodies off them. You know who you are!

So find your niche, whether it be baking, reading, knitting, cooking, painting…..whatever it is… Seriously this pandemic has taught us to go back to the basics and I love that.

6. Spa at Home

Well why not?? make a quick and healthy meal, fill up the tub, fire up a few candles, get the face mask and foot mask out, and chill out. You cant go to a Spa- you have all the time in the world to make your own spa at home, and the beauty is, after your done, get into bed and go to sleep. No driving home involved here. Bliss

7. Catch Up

Real life takes it toll, when was the last time you rang your mum and spoke to her properly? like really properly…. me – I dont know, but now I actually ask her about her day and how she is doing, what she is doing…. without rushing her.

The tranquility I feel in that conversation is Gold. Pure Gold, and its only this Pandemic that has made me realise this. Do a routine where you call a special person everyday and just…. Catch UP.

8. Spring Clean

Ok I know, I know, I sprung this one on you…… but its not all that bad…… the clothes cupboards have been waiting since last summer for a clean out, and guess what they are still waiting. No more excuses about no time. We have all the time in the world. Do you know how satisfying this can actually be? At the moment im constantly wearing comfort clothes-all of these are definately getting binned when we are out of our sentance. But also it given me ideas of what I do need to get aswell….. cant wait for that shopping trip! Thats something to look forward to.

What a mess. Can’t wait to dive into this

Well thats how I am keeping sane in this weird time in our life. How are you guys all doing? anything you are doing differently or I can add to my life?

Hope you all are keeping Strong and keeping safe. We will get through this.

Stay Safe. Stay at Home

Love and regards

M11bna

Dont forget a quick ‘Like; ‘Share’ and follow

And pop your email adress into the ‘subscribe’ button to always be up to date with ‘A Cup Of Me’

The Virus that made the World Stand Still

I started off this year with a blog stating that “Be selfish, Be You” and in that blog I stated how 2020 was going to be my year, I was going to make changes, I was going to change the world…… yet the world had different plans.

Today we are at standstill, and all because of a virus?! not just any virus, but a beast of a virus who is threatening humankind, and the worst part is….. nobody knows what to do.

At the begginning of the year we all make so many plans, we sit thinking of what we want to achieve, where we want to travel, what changes we will make to better our lives, we evan contemplated WW3 with the issues between Trump and Iran…… but NEVER did we contemplate this.

Im trying to stay positive, Im trying to keep an open mind, but honestly I feel overwhelmed. Im tired of all the conspiracy theories, I dont care if it was man made, I dont care if china make money from it, or if america make money from it, I dont care if shares are low and we need to buy now to be millionaires later, I dont care if its been introduced to wipe out 1% of the world…… All I care about is thats it here and people are going to die, people possibly around me, people I love, people in my family.

so lets concentrate on that instead.

With Wars in countries, with Brexit, with inflation we have people to blame, we have scapegoats, we have our own theories, our own understandings of the processes involved….. Here mother nature has taken over and God/Allah has shown us his power. We are mere mortal souls, no matter how rich, or how poor, no matter how much money you have, no matter how much power you have, no matter Who you are… we have nowhere to go, we have no where to hide. We are in this together…… and we are terrified.

Can I tell you my biggest fear? My parents. Im sure alot of us feel this way…. its hard knowing that should they be infected, we cannot evan hold their hands at a time like this. We cannot go to see them, they will have to suffer alone. And if worse come to worse (and I really hate thinking of this) that they may go to the grave alone…….That breaks me.

Coming from an indian background/community we are brought up being together at all times, families live together, eat together, laugh together and also cry together. So how will we suffer alone? how will we allow others to suffer alone, how will we get through this?. Our whole ethos will change, our upbringing, our understanding of how to live has all come to a stand still.

And still we are singing ‘Happy Birthday’ whilst washing our hands, (*rolls eye*) I did say that I would only put positive things on the blog, and that is still the case, but I wanted to emphasise that ‘Life seriously is not in our control’, what we think, what we plan can be taken away overnight, as it has right now.

The worst is still to come for us in the UK, with the death toll at 177 today, the schools are now closed, places of social gatherings like bars, clubs, pubs and evan mosques are now closed. Yet our borders are still open, a containment by the people who feel they need it is being performed, yet everyone else walks freely.

This will go down in history as the “Happy Birthday” virus and generations after us will laugh that we thought washing our hands was the answer.

Hope that all of you are keeping well and looking after yourselves.

Love and Regards

M11bna

Dont forget a quick Like, Share and Follow

and pop your email adress in the subscribe button to always be up to date with ‘A Cup Of Me’

A little Kindness in this Cruel World…..

6 years ago I went back to my birth country of Malawi, in Africa. We stayed at my aunt’s house. The only thing I wanted to take back home are these drinks called “Cherry Plum”. I adore cherry plum. If anyone is going or coming back from Malawi, my cherry plum is always on the list…. So this time since I was going, I was going to bring back cherry plum for everyone, and at least a years supply for me…….,But…. there was none….in the whole city of Malawi.

I went crazy looking for them, I drove my aunt crazy, the whole 2 weeks I was there, whilst we were out and about, that’s all we looked for. We ended up going to the small street vendors, the ladies who sell on the edge of the road… But there was none…. I was loosing my head. So too was my Aunt.

I remember telling my hubby whom I had left behind. He thought I was joking : “So your telling me, in the whole of Malawi there is not Evan one bottle of Cherryplum?” …. Urm Yes.

We found out that the factory had been closed for the past couple months because one of the machinery had gone faulty….. Let me explain this to you guys…. A COCA COLA factory in Malawi was shut down for a couple of months because of ONE machine that was not working… How bizzare does that sound?

I remember telling my husband this and he scoffed over the phone – ” it’s a Coca Cola factory- they wouldnt shut it for a day,”.. …… But this is Africa baby!

… it did start up again, and I get my regular cherry plum again for my friends and family… But I’m remembering this now because of the whole Coronavirus situation we have going on.

I’ve not stocked up, I have no intention to stock up. Evan if we were to go into lock down, the shops would still be open… But I do my regular shop on a Monday…. And OMG was I thrown back to 6 years ago when I was in Malawi. The supermarkets are empty, there is no food, and if there is it’s triple price. We ARE in BRITAIN people. Not a third world country. Why are we behaving like this!

I keep seeing these pictures of all these old people in supermarkets and they have nothing in their baskets- why? Because stupid people do stupid things! Come on people- at a time like this we are meant to be looking out for each other, and we are penalising the ones who are going to be attacked by this virus the most. Do they really need to be worrying about their shopping or the price of their shopping at this age?

Seeing these posts make me so disappointed in humankind. This virus is sopposed to bring us all together, not break us apart!

The worst is, the people who are using the virus as a means to make profit. I detest these people. Absolutely detest them. How dare YOU! ( Im getting too passionate again) ….. Im going to leave it as ……..I believe in karma.

We all need to calm down. We need to be reasonable. And WE NEED TO HELP EACH OTHER.

So here are the few ways in which we can help each other:

I got a letter today- and it was the sweetest. Kindness does exist

So we now have a WhatsApp group and we will liaise with each other. I have alot of elderly around me, so I feel alot better knowing that there are a few of us who can help.

Also when I next go shopping I will be buying extras- but only to pass on to the most needy. I will give them at the same price and not the over inflated prices that the shop people are taking advantage off.

Here’s another note which can be passed on,

Print these out and post them to neighbours, especially the elderly.

Alot of parents are anxious about the schools closing, especially because they can’t afford the extra meals they will have to cater for, a simple message has been put out on Facebook, for all those parents who have anxiety to just message me, and I will help out in any way I can. Whether that be cooked meals or dropping off abit of shopping. Please do the same if you can afford to x

A little Kindness can help make the world a better and brighter place. We are going to go through this, whether our houses are stocked up or not. There is no where to hide or disappear, so let’s do what we can to help each other out as much as possible. Let’s make the world a better place.

Love and regards

M11bna

Don’t forget a quick Like, Share or Follow

And don’t forget to add your email into the subscribe button to always be up to date with ‘A Cup Of Me’

What to Make of The Coronavirus and Boris Johnson

I spent yesterday in a panic and anxiety, we knew that the Cobra meeting was going on, and holding our breaths of the outcome.

I went into more of a panic when Ireland declared that they will be going into lock down from that day on. It dawned on me at that point that I was silly in laughing at all the people buying toilet roll in the masses. I needed toilet roll, not just for the lock down but also generally.

4.30 couldnt come quicker, and for the first time in my life I wanted to see Boris Johnson face.

I finished work at 1.30 and headed straight to the Lidl round the corner, it was a dead town, not only were there no people, the shelves were empty. It felt very surreal, very isolating, like out of a twlight or horror movie. I kicked myself once again for laughing at all the people bulk buying in stores.

Then Good Old Boris came on…… now the thing is I know alot of people are not happy with what he has said, and yes- I agree to some effect….. but in all honesty, I think it may just be the right decision.

From “containing” the coronavirus to “delaying” it.

Ive had alot of people asking me what this means, basically…. its contained: meaning that there is a restriction put on anybody coming into the country. Flights coming in are now not in operation.

Delaying: We have a problem, its not going away, (the worst is probably still yet to come) and therefore we have to put measures in to try and Delay it so that it gives the scientists a chance to come up with a resolution/ vaccine to kill the virus.

To delay the Coronavirus we are being asked to do a number of things as follows:

Schools/Education

It was explained clearly that if schools were closed what are the chances that kids would isolate at home? and that is a very true and honest point. It probably could be done for a week at most, and then… well I know I would probably be the first one to run out.

Schools are NOT closing. Everything continues as normal.

This is not to say that they will not close in the near future, It is being suggested that if can delay the virus by the preventing measures we have been told to follow, we can prevent the closures of schools, but it all depends on how fast the virus will travel.

Individual schools that have issues, will be dealt with individually. Apart from that everything continues on the school front as normal.

Self Help

It has been advised that the best way is to look after yourself, so if you feel a cough or a temperature, self isolate in your own home for 7 days. We have to help ourselves in order to help others, this is really important. If in doubt just self isolate. You could save lives.

Hand Washing (yes I roll my eyes every time I hear this!) but the emphasis on this is so BIG, please dont take it lightly, hand wash as regurarly as possible. Try and do it everywhere you go. It will help you and others around you.

Crowds/Gathering

Try and stay away from gathering and crowds as much as possible as if a person is infected the pick up rate at a crowd and gathering would be alot more. Be Careful and Be wise. Im not really sure why Boris Johnson didn’t put a ban on this. I think this will be the next stage.

Elderly

It seems that the Virus has a liking to the older generation and this has really upset me. My granni at the age of 93 being a target, and the most vunerable. Although its not very clear what they will be doing for the elderly. He did say that they are aware of the virus attracting the ones with low immune systems and elderly and they are looking into the preventive measures for this.

If you do have a elderly person in the family, or are looking after one. Remember the best way to look after them is to also look after yourself, restrict going out, and also people coming in.

For more ways to help and keep informed of the coronavirus heres a webby:

https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/advice-for-public

Ok…. So why no Lockdown?

So far we have had 596 confirmed cases of Coronavirus. Of the 596, 10 people in the Uk have lost their lives to the virus, more than 20 of them are in intensive care, and the remainder so far have been in isolation and hopefully will overcome it.

It is being suggested that a further 10,000 people are infected, and we are being told that we are 4 weeks away to get to the point of were Italy is now. In Lock down.

The ‘Delay’ process is being put into place so that hopefully if we follow the rules, we will get a couple more weeks. In no way or form is Boris Johnson saying that The Virus will go away. What is being said is that we can try and prevent it coming sooner. Hopefully enabling the scientists to find a cure.

We are not going into lockdown because its such a long time, and will people conform to the rules in this long period of time? If we educate ourselves and put these preventive measures into place, we can hopefully slow down the amount of people being affected.

Although a lockdown wouldve been the perfect solution, Im with Boris on this one, Just a weekend inside the house with the kids drives us insane, how would be manage weeks and possibly months. The country without a lockdown is in a state of turmoil. It is not good for the mental health of people, we need some sort of normality, and Boris is giving us that…. for the time being.

I hope that this will slow down the process, and I hope that we all help each other at a time like this, because we need each other.

(btw, Leicester people who are buying toilet rolls in the hundreds….. you guys do know that toilet roll are made in Leicester. we dont need to bulk buy! Calm down! *rolls eye* * winks*)

Love and Regards

M11bna

Dont forget a quick Like Share and Follow.

And dont forget to pop your email address into the subscribe button to always be upto date with ‘A Cup of Me’

…..I got Grey Hair and I Cannot lie…

Ok, so who saw the friends refrencing in the title? Who saw it? Who saw it? Tell me, tell me….

I just got excited. Friends are coming back for one more episode. They are coming back for an hour long episode! did you hear that?…. I’m so damn excited. I Actually jumped when I saw it …… Then I refused to believe it… then I went into Denial…… And then it was all over instagram- and the internet went crazy! And so did I. (Im still jumping)

I’m dead excited? Are you? …. It’s either going to be the best ever, or something that never should have happened…. We won’t know until we see it…. And see it I must!!!

So back to grey hairs. I’m ageing. I don’t like it. My once upon a time jet black locks- look tired, and dull and……. grey. Like my dry skin- I’m having trouble with this ageing thing. Big trouble.

I have two options, like the friends episode, either I’ll embrace it, or I’ll go through some mental episode.. aka mid life crisis… Good thing is you guys will be here with me, to witness it,…. Oh god. Is that Even good?

This post really isn’t about my grey hair, although it is, it really is, but generally more about ageing….. And my grey hair …

I will call it……. Ageing gracefully

No Nonsense Bullsheesh (Kebabs. because I don’t like swearing)

When I was younger I use to wonder why older people were so shrewd, so self centrered, and selfish. Now I’m old(er) I want to be all those things rolled into one! Part of growing older, is also getting wiser. I would say I got wiser alot later than most people in life, because generally I am was a more naive and generally forgiving person. (The thing about studying psychology is, Evan when your hurt, you try and figure out why the other person wants to hurt you, rather than feeling the hurt itself).

Its the lessons in life, and people in life that teach you to become more selfish, self centered and shrewd. Almost like a ‘survival of the fittest’ approach. So my number one motto for ageing gracefully, is taking a ‘ no nonsense’ approach to bullsheesh ( kebabs).

Negativity

Do you sometimes feel low? unhappy? annoyed? generally miserable?….. think about what you were doing before you felt this way. And what it was that made you feel this way. More often then not these feelings come into place after you have spent time with negative people. Once you have recognised a negative person, stay away from them. Always think Positive, and be thankful for all life throws at you. You whole outlook in life will change….. and it will also keep the wrinkles at bay…

Stress

Scientists have found that too much stress can make our hair white, and unfortunately it doesnt go back to black once the stress is gone (now wouldn’t that be cool?) But how can stress be avoided? With lifes trial and tribulations it cant. It really can’t. But there are ways to manage and handle stress, whether its Yoga, Meditation, Power Nap or just switching off all the technology and going for a walk. Do what suits you….. But Do it and Handle it!

Over- Indulgence

Up to the age of 33, I had the flattest stomach ever. Now alongside my grey hair, my dry skin, my temper, my hormones, my stomach was feeling left out- so its joined the ageing team and popped out. I just cannot eat as I use too, without feeling bloated. My diet is awful! always has been, but as Age increases the Diet has to be looked at, not just for the sake of the stomach, the wrong diet affects hair, teeth, skin, health….everything!

Over Indulgences will be kept only for special occasions…. and special occasions start on fridays? right? every friday? No. No. No. Dont do it. Birthdays and Weddings only, ok?! OK?

Mental Health

Theres a medical term for being scared of ageing. Did you know that? its called ‘Gerascophobia’– mainly to do with being lonelier as you grow older and coming to terms with the fact that the body and health can and will change. Im already feeling it. I know im going to struggle with this, because all it takes is for me to feel tired after a shopping trip and I go into melt down. (God help my hubby and kids…. and make them patient to endure me)

So my strategy is to embrace it, and take things more easier, and acknowledge that errands may take longer, illnesses may take longer to overcome, and shopping trips…… well we can go away for a whole weekend and enjoy it instead.

And im going to start all this by…. dyeing my hair. Im thinking BLUE, Blacks abit boring now……… see… mid life crisis fully on way!!

Love and Regards

M11bna

Dont forget a quick Like, Follow and Share

And remember to pop your email address into the subscribe button, to always be up to date with ‘A Cup of Me’